I am autism

You may not notice it at first

But once you get to know me

You may see how different I am

I have always been this way

And these differences

Have given me a hard life

I had a hard life

Most doctors did not know what was wrong with me

Because I could speak

And I was bright

But I did not interact with other kids quite right

Their world just seemed to puzzle me

And I could not get through their wall

I did not got to many birthday parties

Nor family gatherings

Or religious halls

Because people knew

That I would make a scene

But know this

If you are embarrassed by me

For how I reacted

To a place I did not understand

Or to someone treating me poorly

Or to some overwhelming feeling

And you just wish that I would act more normal

Know that that is your problem

I am not trying to me your world hard

But you make mine harder

By putting me here or there

And by making me comply

If you cannot see how much I am hurting

And instead of trying to understand

You’re only wish is for me to be normal

Then that is your fault

You might be lonely

Because your circles may abandon you

No one wants to be around the parent with the weird kid

But think about how utterly lonely I must have felt

Alone in the school yard

Or in the cafeteria at lunch time

I cried often

I would yell and scream

And throw things

I would talk to myself

I ran away a few times

I just wanted to explore

The kids saw these things

And thought I was a monster

My parents just wanted a normal child

I ask you to try and get into my world and to listen to me,

Hear what I have to say

Maybe then, I would be able to stop

My parents stuck together

They did what they could

I know I was a hard kid

And they know that they’ve made mistakes

Part of my suffering was their fault

But I thank my dad for trying

And for never giving up on me

And they did get through

My teachers did everything they could

But they realised that the best they could do for me

Was to let me be me

I am autism

I like to spin

And bounce and jump

I love science

And I love exploring

I do not have aids

Or cancer

I am not a disease

I did not steal your child

I am your child

I am me

I am a person with unique needs

And a unique perspective on this world

And perhaps different is okay

Yes research is valiant

And could shed light on why people are the way they are

But research should be going towards helping me

Live a happier and better life

Towards helping me be a better person

In understanding this world

And towards making it an easier place for me

Not towards erasing me

Nor to covering me up

And making me look more normal

I was diagnosed

With ASD-Asperger’s type

At 24

But I have always known

That I was not quite normal

Your campaign of hopelessness, of fear

And of disease

Demonizes people like me

It made me scared of who I was

It made me wish I was not me

So that I could just give everyone a normal person

It made me want to die

Because of campaigns that spread fear and hatred

I felt the need to hide myself and

I thought the best I could do

Was to slip through the cracks

And deny myself who I was

But that only hurt me more

In the long run

Because I burned out

Shut down

And self-harmed

And to autism I say

Thank you for my brain

For my memory

For my way with numbers

For my curiosity

And for the way I see the world

For I would not be the same person

Without you!