"I have no right"

Every time someone tells me that I have no right to say "I have Asperger’s"

Is a reminder of teachers not knowing what to do with me whenever I threw a temper tantrum

Is a reminder of me crying in the corner when the phelt-board was taken away in kindergarten
I was four, she told me in probably the rudest way possible, "It has gone bye-bye; go play with something else!".

Is a reminder of me constantly going for the blocks during "free time" in school and creating elaborate shapes and patterns and not socializing

Is a reminder of not having any real friends all through grades-school

Is a reminder of me following people around in school and thinking they were my friends

Little to know they merely tolerated my presence

Is a reminder trying to talk to people only to be told that I am rude and unwelcome

Is a reminder wondering why kids just never seemed to like me

Is a reminder of spending hours on the jungle-gym alone

Is a reminder of me not letting anyone speak and jabbering on and on when talking to them,

And then walking away thinking they enjoyed that and that they were my friend

Is a reminder of teachers being astounded by my comprehension of science and math, yet puzzled by my obvious reading difficulties

Is a reminder of the constant Ns at the end of my report card in things like "conflict resolution"

Is a reminder of everyone recognizing my lack of social skills

Is a reminder of being so happy is someone showed even the slightest ounce of niceness to me,

I thought they liked me and drove them away with an obsession

Is a reminder of every time someone would tap me on the shoulder I would puch them in the face because of my hyper sensitivity

Is a reminder of people calling my brutal honesty refreshing

Yet getting upset when I give an honest and untactful opinion

Is a reminder practically becoming best-friends and jumping up to hug teachers and not understand why they are not

Is a reminder of my naiveté whenever someone said "do this and I will be your friend" only to have them laugh at me

Is a reminder coming to school wearing a too-short skirt and having everyone laugh at me and me asking, "What is so funny?"

Is a reminder of myself constantly answering rhetorical questions

Is a reminder of escaping into math problems because the world of numbers seemed like a much better place

Is a reminder of myself yelling that I felt like shit, during a pep-rally when everyone else yelled happy thoughts

and getting pulled aside for heckling

Is a reminder of being called sociopathic for not readily interacting with children growing up

Is a reminder of, at 12 years old, just wanting to die because no one liked me

Is a reminder of myself writing a poem comparing my mother to pig a for a simile assignment in grade seven

and the teacher telling me she could not mark it because it was not a positive comparison

Is a reminder of running off into the woods and using nature as my escape

Is a reminder of throwing myself at a guy and the next day thinking he liked me

Is a reminder creating elaborate role-playing games with myself to pass time

Is a reminder of me waking up at 430 in the morning whenever I missed my cartoon from the night before

Is a reminder that I still lay my clothes out for days in advance

Is a reminder of putting my clothes on underneath footy pjs before going to bed

Is a reminder of sitting in a corner during a formal meeting because I was overwhelmed by all the people and the noise

and the supervisor firmly telling me at 17, "only four year olds sit in corners"

Is a reminder of me climbing a try to decipher the species, thinking that I was taking initiative only to have my co-op supervisor tell me to get down or she'd kill me

Is a reminder showing up to a formal presentation at a big pharmaceutical company in sweat pants

because the teacher said you could not wear jeans

Is a reminder of constantly asking why to just so answers

and having the person on question just continue telling me "that is the rules"

Is a reminder of university professors praising me for my participation and yet telling me that I talk too much

that I take pride in interrupting lectures and that I monopolize class discussions

Is a reminder of a professor pulling me aside to tell me their story of how their son got diagnosed with Asperger’s like they knew that's what I have

Is a reminder of the woman who works with autistic children saying "ash-burgers" to me when I was twirling string and staring at it with extreme focus

Is a reminder of me telling my doctor at 18 what I have and him telling me that an evaluation would take months and that is would not be covered

Is a reminder telling a girl in biology class that I (may) have as Asperger’s, and she telling me that everyone in class already guessed that

Is a reminder of my X partner's telling me that his aunt asked him (and his mom) if I have Asperger’s because of my odd behaviour; and her son was HFA

Is a reminder of going half crazy and slapping myself on the leg whenever someone moved something of mine

Is a reminder of dreading summer vacation because school was over and my routine lost

Is a reminder of any spinning ride at wonderland making me feel relaxed

Is a reminder of spinning in the kitchen only to watch the ceiling dance

Is a reminder of finding the strangest places to study and having the teacher tell me to get off the ledge

and not understanding their concern for me

Is a reminder of climbing the highest tree because I did not have a good sense of fear

Is a reminder of my obsession for patterns and small detail

Is a reminder of my fondness of classification and identification

Is a reminder of my ability to memorize large sequences of numbers yet forget where my keys are

Is a reminder of being told I took advantage them because I did not understand the situation until it got too uncomfortable

Is a reminder of hating myself when I realised that I may be this way

Is a reminder of just constantly saying the wrong thing

Is a reminder of me just wanting to give my parents a normal child, but knowing that I could not

Is a reminder of just wanting to fit into a world where it feels like you are from a different planet

Is a reminder that no matter what I do, people look at me with a raised eyebrow

Is a reminder of someone telling me "you can do better"

Is a reminder of every little thing at once

Every time someone tells me that I have no right to say "I have Asperger’s"

Is a reminder that I put in an A+ effort at a C performance at being a normal person

A metaphor for Autism in the Media

Lisa was the princess of the highest kingdom. She loved her sister dearly. They loved to play make believe games in the night around the castle together. Lisa loved her fondness for imaginary play. She soon discovered her fondness for creating new world and escape. She also had a brilliant gift for thinking and seeing patterns. Her sister claimed that there was no one else like that in the world. With this gift came a heightened sense of awareness, she could hear and feel everything around her more than anyone else in the kingdom ever could. When the noises got too loud, she would cover ears run away. Sometimes she would scream and thrash to make whatever was bother her lesser. Her parents were quick to see the negatives and they feared that she would one day hurt her sister.

So they looked her up in her room and tried to make her control her imagination and control her mind. But the need for control only increased her anxiety and made it worse. In fear, her parents never let her out of her room and never let her play with her sister. The once best friends grew further and further apart and began to resent one another.

With her 18th birthday came her coronation and came the big celebration. Lisa was allowed outside of her room and into a big crowd of people for the first time in over ten years. She was anxious, which only made the noises around her louder and her imagination run wilder. Everyone mingled with one-another, while Lisa remained in the corner, she did not feel like she connected with anyone there, all that chatter simply felt like bees buzzing in her head. It was hard not to drown it out. Suddenly, her sister came to her with a strange man she’d just met asking for her blessing. Lisa could not give her sister her blessing for a man she’d just met, not matter how much she loved her. Outraged, her sister yelled at her and accused her of being unfair. She accused her of shutting her out and being cold-hearted. Her voice got louder and louder and Lisa was having a hard time containing herself. She finally snapped and yelled to the high-heavens “Enough!” With that she stomped her feet and through her hands up in the air in rage of all the noise and all the people in the room. Everyone took a step back from her in shock. How could they ever trust such a volatile queen? Devastated, Lisa ran right through the castle and out of the kingdom, never wanting to show her face again. She ran away in hopes of finding a place she could be herself with her thoughts and never need to think of anyone else again.